Today I was taught grace, love, and understanding through the words and actions of my 7 year old son.
Isaac was not happy today, because he knew that he needed to go back to the orphanage, since I was leaving. He was flat out mean. I know that his anger was an extention of his sadness, but when we got to the orphanage, I kind of lost it, and he did a complete 180.
We were sitting alone in his bunk room, and when I stared to cry, his tears started to flow as well. I promised him, I would be back soon, and that I needed him to be a big, strong, fine man and wait for me.
I told him to wipe his tears away, because we didn't want the other children to see us cry, and as he did, he looked at me, and said "mama wipe your tears too." So I did and then he looked at me and said, "we okay?" These two simple words, told me that he trusted me and believed me when I said I would be back soon, and my heart was at peace.
He then took my hand and we wakled out to the other children who all bid me farewell. Aries one of the older girls, told me she would look after Isaac until I came to carry him to America.
And then I walked away from my son. I've kept the tears at bay until now. Even as I walked to the entrance of my plane and breathed the Liberian air one last time, I kept it under control, until now.
Now I miss my son. His soothing words could only last so long.
5 comments:
Ohhh, Jocelyn! You have a GOOD boy there. :) Wow. He is strong!
I'm so sad for your sadness and his. But he trusts you completely. That's amazing. You're such a good mom already! I'm so impressed by you both. What a team.
Oh Jocelyn! I can't imagine how you are feeling right now, but I hope it helps to know that my heart and prayers are going out to you. If you want, I'll spearhead a campaign to AoH...we could call and harrass them EVERY day about Isaac's adoption until he comes home! In all seriousness, I hope that it is as fast as it can possibly be. The fact that Isaac is such a sweetheart is only making us all want him FASTER! Hang in there and know that we're all here for you.
Jocelyn! You're tearing my heart out! I can't even BEGIN to think about what this is going to be like for us and Spencer in a couple of months. I'll have my husband's shoulder to cry on, but my baby girl to wrangle. Uuurrrgh. HOW will I get through this?! Thanks for being a great example and sharing with us. Do you have a timeline, however tentative, about when he'll be coming home? (If you've already told us, don't worry. I have these lapses :P)
I am so sorry that you had to leave your boy so far away. I can't even imagine it but was so glad to hear that Isaac was strong and that he seems to trust that you will be back soon to bring him home. What a day that will be!
-My heart is breaking for you-
Is there anyway you can call and talk to Issac every now and then? I would think that would make you both feel alot better. I second the campaign Michelle!! I know Aries will take care of Issac until you can get there- you are a great mom!
Love,
Charity
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