To the Death

Isaac and I watched the "Chronicals of Narnia" tonight. The scene that puts me in tears everytime I watch it, is when the sides have been drawn and the army of the White Witch and the army of Aslan are standing up to each other. Peter is watching as the White Witch's army which is twice the size of his army is coming together. He is alone, Aslan is "dead" and he must lead an army to what looks like will be their deaths.

He looks at the Centar standing next to him and says, "Are you with me?" and the Centar replies, "To the death." Then Peter leads the charge knowing that he is outnumbered and doesn't have a chance. He does it because Aslan asked him to.

I cry as Aslan's army begins to run knowing full well what they are running into. They were asked by their king to do something and they do it, knowing it will most likely lead to the end of their lives. Then right when all hope is lost, Aslan comes, in his perfect timing. He arrives not a moment too soon, and not a moment too late. He protects Peter just like he promised and then walks over to him and says, "It is finished!"

Today while we were watching the movie it really meant so much more to me than it has in the past. I have always questioned what I would really be willing to do for God if he asked. How much trust do I really put in him that he will keep his word and never let me down. That his timing is perfect in ALL things. That he doesn't not give me more than I can stand!

I have been feeling so many emotions in the last two weeks and I know this is only the beginning. Just dealing with the emotions of loving someone so fiercly that I sometimes don't quite know what to do. I have never in life felt a love like that for anyone. It is a beautiful thing that I don't want to go away, but it is also so exausting.

I have had a lot of time to think while I have been in Liberia, (sometimes there isn't a lot to do here so you are left with your thoughts), what would I be willing to do for my Aslan? How far would I go for my God, what would I give up for my savior? Would I run towards the enemy outnumbered, seemingly to my death if he asked me to?

I hope I would. I pray that I would stand with him and be able to say "To The Death" because that is something he has already done for me.

I have felt in this adoption at times that I was running blindly at something that I didn't know anything about and I wasn't prepared. There have been moments in the last two weeks with Isaac that I have felt outnumbered and done! But then I take a stepback and realize that this is what my Aslan has asked me to do. He promised he would never leave me alone in it, and would always be there for me.

I feel so blessed and honored to know that my God is a God of fulfilled promises. My savior is a savior of love and understanding. My King is the King of Kings and the ultimate warrior. Who else would you rather be running at the enemy next too???