Today I found out that after everything I will have to give my roommate 30 days notice. His arrest record, is going to hold up the process for a very long time. This is killing me. Because he is a great guy. One of the best I know, and a few stupid mistakes he made in his late teens and early twenties, are coming back to bite him in the butt.
He's in his last few weeks of college and is very stressed out, so I'm going to wait until I get back from Africa (May 24th) to tell him and give him notice. Once I give him the notice, they will submit the homestudy without him in it, and I can be back on track.
I've also had a few family member question my judgement on certain issues...everything from why I'm adopting in the first place, to how can I travel in two weeks then leave Isaac behind? I've been accused of not taking my son's best interests to heart.
I have come to realize that as a parent, I will have to make decisions everyday, that I don't like. I will have to do things that some people may not agree with, but in the end they are my decisions to make.
It's amazing to me how God is preparing me to be a parent. He is teaching me lesson, that only he can teach. And as hard as some of those lesson are I'm glad to learn them from a merciful teacher.
5 comments:
Oh, I'm so sorry... what a tough time you're going through. Just so you know, I know you do have Isaac's best interest at heart, and I think in the end, it will be very good for him to have met you and to know who he's eventually coming home to. I think it will help with the transition. It's one less unknown in his future. He knows who his new mom is, and just imagine how great it will be, when you come back the second time - to take him home!
I'm on your side, I'm rooting for you, and I admire your strength. You go, girl. :)
- Amy
I just wanted to agree with Amy. One of the hardest things of parenthood is self-doubt. You just have to rest in knowing that you were hand selected by God to be Isaac's mom. He'll carry you through and cover where you fail.
Lots of love!
Becky A.
Amy, Becky...thank you so much, I needed to hear this...and YEAH MAMA Coming HOME!!!
Jocelyn-
It is such a good decision to go meet Isaac. This will only benefit him more. I'm sorry the hard stuff came up with your room mate. You know what God is speaking to you in your own heart...I think it's funny when everyone wants to add their ten cents to what they know is best for your situation. Well- You're a big girl and you're Isaac's mommy...I know God is directing you and leading you just in the way you should go! I believe in you:)
Laurie
So sorry you are having to deal with the roommate issue. It is a difficult position to be in, I'm sure.
I know that it can be really hard to have family members question your decisions. But the end result is that they are YOUR decisions and you have to make the decisions that give you peace. If you know you are making the right decisions, you have to go with it...and your family will have to catch up later! It can be hard to deal with the questions, though...
As far as going to visit Isaac - I think its a great decision. It will give you a chance to get to know him on his turf. It will give you a chance to see his condition first hand and prepare yourself for what his treatment might be. And, it will give you an opportunity to take pictures and video that you can share with his doctor here who can help you plan for his treatment when he gets here. I don't doubt that it will be tough to have to leave without him, but you'll both get through it. Perhaps you can give him something of yours to take care of until you get back to pick him up...so then he knows you're coming back?
Best of luck...I know it can be hard.
Chanda
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