How do you say I'll be right back to a child who's been abandoned once already?
Isaac doesn't understand that his mother's choice to leave him at the orphanage was the most loving gift she could ever give him. He doesn't know that his mother is saving his life by leaving him. All he knows is that his mother has left him, and in 20 days I'll arrive in Liberia, spend 13 days getting to know him, then have to tell him, "I'll be right back, I promise."
As each day passes and my trip gets closer I should be getting more and more excited to meet my baby, but instead I'm spending more time each day in tears. My excitement is being taken over with a sadness of having to leave Liberia without him.
I've talked to Donna, and we both agree that I need to limit the amount of time that I spend with Isaac while I'm there. I'll spend little bits of time with him each time I see him, and then we'll have a beach day, maybe a market day, and maybe a movie night or two. But I feel like there will be a lot of walking on egg shells, because Melodie's afraid it will break Isaac's heart when I leave.
So how do I explain to a 7 year old boy, who's already suffered so much sadness due to abandonment that I'll be back? How do I make sure he'll understand? Is there anyway? I can honestly say I don't know what to do.
What I do know is that my flight home from Liberia will be the longest of my life.
Isaac doesn't understand that his mother's choice to leave him at the orphanage was the most loving gift she could ever give him. He doesn't know that his mother is saving his life by leaving him. All he knows is that his mother has left him, and in 20 days I'll arrive in Liberia, spend 13 days getting to know him, then have to tell him, "I'll be right back, I promise."
As each day passes and my trip gets closer I should be getting more and more excited to meet my baby, but instead I'm spending more time each day in tears. My excitement is being taken over with a sadness of having to leave Liberia without him.
I've talked to Donna, and we both agree that I need to limit the amount of time that I spend with Isaac while I'm there. I'll spend little bits of time with him each time I see him, and then we'll have a beach day, maybe a market day, and maybe a movie night or two. But I feel like there will be a lot of walking on egg shells, because Melodie's afraid it will break Isaac's heart when I leave.
So how do I explain to a 7 year old boy, who's already suffered so much sadness due to abandonment that I'll be back? How do I make sure he'll understand? Is there anyway? I can honestly say I don't know what to do.
What I do know is that my flight home from Liberia will be the longest of my life.
5 comments:
Oh Jocelyn...I'm on that same emotional roller coaster. We have to tell nyenpu & Titus that we'll be right back...and then take Kojo with us! That is all sinking in...I'll be praying for Isaac the same things I'm praying for Nyenpu and Titus. That God will be preparing their little hearts, that He will give them understanding beyond their years, that He will be protecting them from the feelings of rejection and abandonment, and be placing deep in them seeds of love and comfort. We are hoping to do a "beach day" too! See you in Liberia!
Same boat here too, Jocelyn. In fact, it's such a tender point for me that I'm weeping reading your post and Laurie's response. When we go pick up Siah in a few months, we'll also be seeing and leaving Spencer. :( I don't know how much he understands about his parents, but no matter what, it's going to be so hard all around. Spence does have a couple people (Patty and Grant) who keep coming back to love on him, but I just don't know.
Anyway, I know (sorta, anyhow) how you feel and I'll be praying for you both (and Laurie and her family) while you're there. My heart hurts for ALL of you.
Love and hope,
Rae
Oh, you're making me want to cry! I completely understand how you must be feeling! I will be praying for you and for sweet Isaac while you're there, and especially when you leave. I am counting the days... I can't wait to hear about your trip.
Thank you all for your comments. It means the world to me, to know there are so many beautiful women of God, standing behind me.
-J
Hang in there.... We just will pray that God will give Isaac an extra measure of grace, and that the Spririt's loving arms will hold him tighter until you come back!
Love and prayers, Denise
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