So on my last post someone felt the need to leave me a comment saying, I should have thought about it before I adopted Isaac. (Please feel free to check it out, I left it up). After the first few moment of being dumbfounded by this idiotic comment I began to realize that there are a lot of people out there that feel this way and a lot of people who don't. Which got me thinking...
For most people who adopt I would say it's safe to say that they are called to do it. Unlike pregnancy it does NOT take a man and woman to adopt a child. You can be single, gay, straight, dating, engaged really anything and adopt a child.
In order to adopt you have to go through intense scrutiny by the US government and whatever government you are adopting from. They look at your love life, your financial life, your home life, your present, past, and future plans. They tear you apart, then someone sits down and writes a report where they state that you are indeed good enough to take in a child that has been abandoned, sick, dying, and most often than not, has no hope. (Last time I checked you don't have to do all this to get pregnant, no getting pregnant "most" of the time is fun!)
At any point during this time you can say "bag it, screw it, not worth it" and many do. But there are a chosen few who keep going. They keep their eye on the finish line. They never let it out of their sites. Those people are Adoptive Parents.
There's a call on some peoples live to adopt. I got mine when I was 9 years old. And for 16 years I thought, prayed, and dreamed about what it would be like to adopt. All the while I KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would do my first adoption on my own. I knew I would be single. And sure enough here I am. I knew how hard this would be doing it on my own. I knew there would be days when I wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep it off and I wouldn't be able to. I knew that my heart would be broken and repaired more times than I can count. I knew that in the end the sacrifices I would have to make would be nothing compared to joy that Isaac brings to my life.
My hero in this life is probably my best friend and I have never met her. We talk on almost a daily basis and we get each other through some insanely tough times. She is married, but is a mere 24 years old, her and her husband adopted a dying child from Africa. Adoption brought Charity into my life and she knew going into their adoption that heart break might be right around the corner, but she did it anyways. She has accomplished more in her 24 years on this earth than most will in their entire lifetime!
We think these things through. We KNOW what we are getting into. Adoption is not something that is EVER done on a whim, and anyone who dares to accuse us of that is a FOOL!
My son's have major spinal surgery in 27 days. I know only two children that have had this surgery one died, and the other almost did. I KNEW this before I adopted Isaac. I knew the day would come that I would have to put my heart and soul in the hands of God and beg him to be merciful. So when you say that I should have thought about it, well to be honest you are disrespecting God more than me. Because he put it in my heart, he thought about it for me, then gave me a simple command. "Do It!" And I did!
22 comments:
I am so sorry that someone left you such a mean and insensitive comment. From the first time I found your blog and spent time reading all your archived posts I was inspired by you and continue to be so. I keep you and Isaac in my prayers and will especially be praying for you both as the time for his surgery grows closer. Hang in there.
Marianne
You've proved to me that I can adopt. I've ALWAYS wanted to adopt, but I didn't realize someone so close to my age (I'm 20) would do so. So, ignore the negative, remember the positive and give that adorable boy of yours a hug for me! Everytime I read about your journey with Isaac it reinforces my want to adopt. I can't wait until I'm able to post pictures of myself and my kids.
Well it takes all kinds on this earth. Let me tell you something...
I have 10 kids and have lots of crappy days and I have plenty of people telling me "then why did you adopt all those kids?" So as you can see- you are going to get these comments whether you are single, married, have 1 kid, or a dozen. It is what we do with that info- take it in or toss it. You are too strong to let it faze you. I love my kids but yes there is days that are hard and just plain old crappy. But I wouldnt change it for nothing and I know you wouldnt either.
What you have done is AMAZING! What you've done for Issac is of immeasurable worth - and I know you'd agree what he's given you is equally immeasurable.
In gr 9 I decided I was going to adopt. Here I am, 21, single, and still dreaming my adoption dream. THANK YOU for what you've done and for being a huge encouragement to me.
I don't know you, but from your blogs - you're doing an absolutely incredible job raising your son. Be blessed in all you do.
You're amazing. I read your blog from afar and am inspired by your courage. I'm 28, single...and working towards adopting. I hope I find similar courage and strength as you. Love your blog song!
- KB
Hu :) I found your blog about a week ago, and I went back and read from the beginning.
I thought your last post, was a very valid opinion, and emotion.
You chose to adopt your son. I think that's great. Just because you chose to adopt - just because someone chooses to have a child, as a single parent, doesn't mean that they don't still hope for, or wish for someone to share that with.
I admire you. I'm 25... I'd love to adopt a child. I KNOW I want to have children. I've always considered adoption as a way to do that. Why not provide a loving home for a child that no longer has one. So I admire you having done this, especially at your age. I'm what... a year younger than you? I couldn't imagine doing it right now. I'm still at University, I don't have a stable job, I'm not ready for that yet. But part of me wishes I was.
So I say go girl! What you think, and what you feel, and what your heart says, are the most important things. Not what anyone else says - not what I say.
My thoughts are with you and Issac, through this miraculous time. I'll be praying.
-Jacey
Well said! I'm am so tired of the ignorance of people. Adoption is one of the most beautiful miracles one can experience. I too have wanted to adopt since I was a little girl and I can't wait to be able to start the process. Just two more years! (waiting for hubby to finish Dental School). Anyway, I have been so inspired by your story and your love for Jesus. You listened to His will and acted. God Bless you!
Lauren
I don't think I've ever left a comment on your blog but have followed it for more than a year checking in from week to week. My husband and I adopted from the Tennessee foster care system which has it's unique struggles. Adoption is something both of us had felt we were meant to do prior to finding each other. We would have adopted regardless of being single or in a relationship.
Issac is a beautiful child with unlimited possibilities because of YOU and your devotion.
I don't mean for my comment to get long. I just want to say a big AMEN to your blog and your choice to be Issac's mom! You're blessed to have each other. Hopefully eventually there will be a man equally fortunate to have you and Issac! If God brings you to it, He can certainly get you through it, right?
And I wish you and Issac the very best with his upcoming surgery and healing. May God be with you both and you will be in our prayers!
Brooke in TN
-Jocelyn-
My sister.
I never knew that it was possible to love someone so much without having met them.
What would I do without you?
You have truly been there for me in some of the most difficult times of my life, and I am beyond blessed beyond measure to have been given such a wonderful friend along my journey.
So many people are wasting their lives and robbing themselves of incredible blessings by letting their fears, conceit, indecision, or judgements get in the way of what are truly God's miracles.
Keep it up sister- Don't take nothin' from nobody!!!
We are BLESSED!!!!!!!!!
Love ya,
C
That last line was perfect. . .HE is the one who thought it through. . so often, I try to do God's job for Him. . in truth, my ONLY job is to ask, listen and then Obey! Great response, but great challenge to me as well!
Love you,
Bran
It sometimes amazes me that people can say such stupid things. Your response was wonderful and so exact. While many people may stand with you during your adoption process, none truly understand unless they have been there and gone thru it too. Thank you for so eloquently stating what so many adoptive parents go thru.
Sherry
Look, you could've had a biological child and ended up a single parent. Just because someone "plans" doesn't mean its going to work out that. You made choice to adopt and you knew what singleparenthood would mean, but you took that leap anyway. You shouldn't be made to feel guilty that every once in a while, you feel like an extra pair of hands would be helpful. It's how you feel. No one should be made to feel guilty about a true feeling.
I've been hearing that call to adopt for years myself and I know I have possibly another 3 - 5 years before I can begin the process - but I will do it. Single, married, divorced - I don't care! And it will be hard with or without a husband.
You're awesome.
Awesome post. It is too bad people dont always think before they speak/type. Or at least take off their blinders to anyone who chose to have a life different than their own.
Being a single parent is hard and wonderful at the same time. You should absolutly discuss the good and easy stuff with the hard. That isn't true with just single parenting, it is also true about life.. ;-)
I absolutely love your blog and the inspiration (not to mention of course Glory to God) that you bring.
I am a married mother to 3 children born in my heart. Two of them special needs and YES...God called us to adopt. There is no doubt in my mind.
The enemy always finds ways to make you doubt, but you seem to always find a way to turn it around and glorify our Savior. Your hard work and obedience will be no doubt be repaid. It already has been by Isaac's love. But, rest assured there are many treasure awaiting you in Heaven.
Keeping you both in our prayers.
Blessings,
Ohilda
May God bless you and your son. And even the mean commenter. I hope that person realizes someday what true love is-that love between a child and parent, no matter who gave birth to them.
My life would be significantly less inspired if I didn't have your blog to read. I admire your relationship with Isaac and I would be lying if I didn't mention how I occasionally have to watch an Isaac dance. He is meant for this world and you were meant to raise him.... (and I was meant to read about it:-) Anonymous forgot to take into account that besides immense support from the universe, there are a lot of prayers out there for you both. Of course you were meant to adopt- as you so effectively pointed out. As far as a good man- I found one at age 31 and he was 34. If it was any earlier we wouldn't have been polished enough to have sparkled in one another's eyes- like we ended up doing- in fact he has gotten more sparkly. Your guy is just getting polished and his goodness is being set. In the mean time it just gives you time to get polished and to focus on Isaac, strenghthen your bonds w/him and his faith in you as his primary support, as he may need in this time period. God bless you both!
Don't you LOVE how snipey commenters never have the guts to sign their names???? That comment made me want to slap somebody SILLY! RIDICULOUS! UGH!!! If they have read this blog for any amount of time they would know that comment was ABSURD! Makes me wanna GGGRRRRRRR! Ok... I am done. I am praying for the upcoming surgery. I adore all the new pictures. You are amazing and I hope you get that early Christmas gift. Hugs, Angel
I love your honesty and strength! I am praying for you and your precious son! I will be calling on the ultimate healer for his upcoming surgery and for peace for his mom!
Blessings
Ha! What an ignorant comment! But you were able to turn it into a good time of education for whoever posted it. I mean seriously, one could say "you should have thought of gas prices before you got a car" or "you should have thought of the difficulties of sharing before you got married". I believe every choice we make that has eternal value comes with some sacrifice, but yields amazing rewards. It's not bad to be honest about the sacrifice part.
You go girl! This is a great response to the comment.
I haven't "checked in" for a few weeks.. I was SURPRISED to see what those oh so great anonymous people LOVE to write but don't have the guts to give their names
You're doing a great job.
I have a husband and it's still hard. You are an amazing person.
Sending prayers for mr mans surgery. I can't wait to see sking pics at Christmas time:)
You are a blessing to Issac as he is to you. Don't ever believe anything less. You inspire those of us who have had the privilege to follow your journey.
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