So close... yet so Far

I have spent the last month collecting financial information, reference letters, filling out applications, doing online adoption training (11.5 hours worth), and finding money in the couch cushions so that on the 14th of this month we can have our first home-study visit.

When I embarked on this journey 5 years ago to adopt Isaac from Africa, the process was a JOKE compared to the process to adopt from China. Who was I kidding thinking it would be as easy this time around.  The Chinese government doesn't mess around.  They even want to make sure your pets are vaccinated and your well water is treated before they will entrust you with one of their own.

It is has been a royal pain the butt, and since I am the only one somewhat familiar with the process it has fallen on my shoulders to complete.  My husband has gotten use to me saying "sign here, oh and there too."  He has no idea what he is signing, but kindly does as he is asked.  Maybe agreeing to the terms that we can adopt if I do all the paperwork wasn't in my best interest.

But it has kept me busy.  Kept me strangely happy as I cross items off the list and have them notarized (only one in three steps that needs to happen before the Chinese will accept the documents).

Two weeks ago we met with our spinal surgeon at CHOP to go over our soon to be adopted son's medical reports from China and found out that the child (we named him Drago) that we were hoping to adopt, has a terminal illness.  We had to decide if we could handle adopting a child only to lose him in the next few years.  After more review of his illness (that the Chinese did NOT disclose) we found out that hearing, sight, and cognitive ability would all diminish as Drago gets sicker.

After a lot of tears we decided to walk away from Drago's adoption.  It was not something we felt we could handle.  Since our decision, China has removed him from the adoption pool, because they don't want terminally ill children being adopted.  He will die among those he knows in an orphanage.  It truly breaks my heart, yet I know it's the best thing for him.

So though this journey is one I love to be on, it has been heartbreaking and confusing.  We have looked at the file of a boy named Wei and assuming he is still available come April 8th (my 30th birthday) when we can lock him, we will most likely pursue his adoption.

He is almost 11 years old and has a wicked looking spine.  It twisted and turns like a snake on crack.  Our surgeon the amazing Dr. Sankar believes he can be fixed with a 2-3 week stay in the hospital to rod his spine and straighten him out.  He is less than a year younger than Isaac (but in the same grade), so we would have artificial twins (Isaac loves this!)

So we are close (less than a year away from a plane ride to China), and yet so far.