Nothing is ever easy is it? We heard from the adoption agency today.
It looks like not only will we have to wait for our marriage waiver, we also can't lock Drago as ours until April 8th, 2012.
Because Chinese adoption law won't allow us to adopt Drago until I am 30 (even though Steve is 41), we must wait. We can't get our paperwork to China before my 30th birthday (which will also be Drago's 7th Birthday.) We were under the impression that though we had to wait to turn in paperwork we could lock Drago off the CCAA shared list 6 months before. This would "hold" him for us so no one could adopt him in the meantime.
Surprise that isn't the case anymore. Now not only do we have to wait to see if China will grant us a waiver for the marriage requirements, we also have to wait till 4/8/2012 to lock him.
This creates a two-fold problem.
A. Someone else can adopt him in the meantime (great for him, bad for us)
B. We will have done all our paperwork roughly $5000 worth of stuff and China might not allow us to adopt at all because we haven't been married long enough...
Now the truth is I have been following Drago in China since he was 4. He is now 6 years old. He has been at his orphanage since he was 1. In 5 years not a single family or person has EVER asked or inquired about him for adoption except us. So the chances that anyone will adopt him before us is pretty slim.
The bigger fear is starting the process so we can still have a CCAA LID (Log in Date) in April 2012 and then have China say "Nope" you can't have him, ya all haven't been married long enough.
So do we take a leap of faith... Drop about $5000 to start the process as scheduled and risk it all blowing up in our faces? Or do we wait till April 8th, 2012 and see if they will grant the waiver than start the process (if we do the latter he will come home long after his 8th birthday and the poor kid needed surgery yesterday!)
7 comments:
As an adoptee myself, I am a big fan of your blog... I'm praying for you and your family... Hopefully all the pieces will fall into place and the adoption process will be easy from here on out!
www.wyattzoo.blogspot.com
I adopted from China nearly 6 years ago and in that time, I've never heard of anyone getting an age waiver but have heard multiple stories of people getting almost every other kind of waiver. Most recently, a mom with breast cancer last fall waived to adopt TWO special needs boys (she has 4 other special needs china children already so there were also waivers for her for family size and time between adoptions). China is much more lenient for special needs children, particularly those who have been harder to place. The fact that you already have a special need child will also help. Their concerns about your length of marriage will likely center on the stress on your marriage of caring for a special needs child. Since your husband walked into that situation when he married you, I think that is going to help your cause. If your are called to this boy, please don't give up on him. We do not have because we do not ask.
Thanks Kris... Our Agency is pretty sure we will get the marriage waiver... now it's just a matter of waiting 10 months to Lock Drago off the CCAA list and make him ours.
We won't give up on him...
Suppose someone does adopt Drago in the meantime (like you said, it would be GREAT for him--that many fewer months in an institution!). Could you adopt a different child in need?
R.
Yes if someone adopts Drago before us it will be a wonderful thing for him and we will rejoice with him. We are committed to adopting a child 4-10 years old with a physical disability so if Drago is adopted before we can lock him off the CCAA list we are going to adopt another child.
All that being said, we pray Drago will be the one!
Awesome. After I posted the comment, I realized I had phrased it much more callously than I had intended. I didn't mean to imply that kids are interchangeable or anything like that. There's only so much someone can be expected to put their heart on the line. Plus I realize that part of what piqued your interest was that y'all have a certain amount of familiarity with his medical issues. I was kind of trying to get a sense of whether ". . . or bust!" meant starting all over again on another adoption (with all the fees and everything else), or if at least some of the efforts and resources you put in could be applied toward the adoption of a different child.
R. oh no worries. I knew what you meant. We will adopt no matter what, we can only hope and pray the little boy we have had in our hearts for over a year now will be the one we bring home. If not then God has a very different plan and we will just go with it!
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