Disability 1, Isaac 0

I don't think there is a mother alive who is more proud of her son.  I know that's saying a lot, but I believe it to be true.  I have watched my son overcome obstacles that would pound a man twice his age and strength into the ground like a rotten orange.

Well today kicked our ass!  Since Isaac came home from Africa we have been trying to learn to swim.  In August we will have hit the 4 year point.  You may be asking "why have you been "trying" to swim for 4 years and still can't, what kind of mother are you?"

Well I am a mother with a son who has less than 5% body fat, with two legs that have NO working muscles or tendons below the knee, and what is similar to two clubbed feet that can't be permanently fixed.  Isaac has not one but two lucky fins below his knees and this makes it damn near impossible to keep his head above water.

He has gotten seriously close to being able to swim, but as soon as he gets to place where he can no longer touch the bottom he begins to sink like a rock and panic.  At our YMCA they require you to take a swim test to be able to go in the pool without an adult.  You have to be able to swim 10 yards without touching the bottom or wall.  Isaac has taken the test 3 times, and 3 times he has failed.

Today was going to be our day.  I got in the water and worked with him, then we called the lifeguard to take the test.  He passed the first little bit with flying colors and then came the swimming.  I watched as he looked at the end of the pool with determination.  He had to make it to the opposite wall.  Things started out okay and then as if in slow motion I watched as he reached out for the wall to pull his ever sinking body up for air.

As his head came up above the water I could see the tears flowing down his face.  He knew he had failed.  He knew he wouldn't get his wrist band today.  But then something awesome happened.  He stuck his tear stained face back below the water and kept going.  Every few feet he reached for the wall to save him once again and each time his face came above the water I could see the tears flowing down his cheeks.  By the time he reached the opposite wall he was heaving his chest trying to get his breathing and tears under control.  He pulled himself out of the water walked past the lifeguard and straight to the baby pool where he started practicing again.

I could see the heart break all over his face.  I had to turn away for a moment to get my own tears under control.  In that moment all I wanted to do was jump in the water and help him swim.  I wanted to kick this disability in the ass.  But this is something he has to do on his own.  He knows it too.

I watch able bodied kids passing their test, running around the pool, diving in, and then I turn and see Isaac struggling to walk from one end of the pool to the other on his clubbed feet as they rub against the concrete, sitting on the edge of the pool, or walking defeated to the baby pool with all the toddlers as he watches the abled bodied kids do what he can't seem to do, never complaining, never saying a word.  Just silent tears in the pool.  I would do anything to switch places with him, take that pain from him.

So today we filled the YMCA pool with tears.  Today it was disability 1,  Isaac 0.

When we got in the car to drive home, I felt like crap.  A failure for not being able to teach my son to swim.  Isaac looked at me and smiled and in all his wisdom he said, "I'll beat that pool, this is my summer to swim."

Right when I think the pool, this disability, this spinal cord that doesn't do what he wants it to do has won... He's Back!