It's December 23rd. In a few short hours you will go to sleep far away from me. Where most of the world will go to sleep tonight excited that tomorrow means one thing. One day till Christmas, you have no idea what that even means.
You've never woken on December 25th, warm baked oatmeal filling the house with it's sweet aroma. You've never known what it's like to run into your parents room and beg them to wake up.
You've never had to sit and wait while you papa takes his sweet time hand grinding his coffee beans and then slow cooking it on the stove. You've never gotten to roll your eyes while he froths his milk and like an artist, puts it all together.
You've never laughed out loud at your brother as he does his joker face trying to pass the time, because he can't wait to dive into the presents that have been taunting him for over a week under the tree. You've never felt one of his hugs as he throws his arm over your shoulder the way only an older brother can.
You've never seen the way I look at you, feeling complete and whole, my every dream come true. You've never felt one of my hugs, or cuddled with me on the couch. You've never known a mom, a papa, a brother.
There is very little I know for certain my dear son. In this life nothing is ever for sure. But there is one thing I can promise you. Think of it as your first Christmas gift. This will be the last Christmas you ever live where you will not know these things. This is the last Christmas you will be alone. This is the last Christmas you go without feeling the love of a family that has traveled the world looking for you.
I will find you. I will bring you home. You will know love. Next Christmas we start from the beginning.
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