The Saddest Thing...

I found something out this week that broke my heart into a million pieces.  Being a BOY is considered a "Special Need" in the adoption world today.  On the Chinese Shared list of children available for adoption with mild to severe special needs more than 80% of them are boys.  Many have NO need at all other than the fact that they are boys.  Older boys are impossible to place and younger boys are a challenge.  No one wants them, they want girls, sweet fragile girls.  


Our agency told us that if Drago (the 6 year old boy we are hoping to adopt this year) had been a girl he would have spent less than a year in an orphanage even with is spinal issues he would have been sought out and placed with a family.  But Drago is a boy.  A boy with an infectious smile, intelligent, sweet, caring, and compassionate.  But he's a boy which means NO one wants him.  He has spent 5 of his 6 years on this earth in a Chinese Welfare Institution for the simple reason that he has a penis.


I grew up one of four girls.  Number two in line I was always running around outside, stealing my mom's kitchen knives to carve in trees, skateboarding, playing baseball (NOT softball).  I was the American Tomboy through and through.  Constantly jealous of all the cool things boys could do (including peeing standing up).  I remember thinking even then, "if I have children, I want them to be boys.  Boys are so less complicated and cool."  Of course these were the ramblings of an eight year old.  


Yet even now I have yet to change my mind on this fact. 


When I first saw Isaac in a photo it was his beautiful smile that got me.  It had nothing to do with what he had going on downstairs.  Today I can't imagine anything cooler than a household full of boys.  But it would appear I'm one of a few who feel this way.


Tell me this, when did we as a people decided that little boys are less deserving of a family then girls? 


When did the shift happen in our society, as well as societies all over the world that girls were worth more than boys?  


Why do people WAIT 4-6 years to adopt a Chinese girl when they could bring home a boy with minor needs in less than 12 months?


Does no one else see a problem with this!?!  Am I the only one?  


Right now in China there is a boy praying to God that he will be adopted.  He is 13 years old.  If he isn't adopted by December 1, 2011 he will turn 14 years old and will "Age-Out" of the adoption system. 


This means he can never know what it is to have a family.  To have someone tell him how much they love him.  To make matter worse he will be shown the door.  14 in China is the equivalent of 18 in America.  Can you imagine your 14 year old boy or girl on the streets to fend for themselves?  Can you? Take a moment and think about it.  I have a 15 year old son named Sam and the thought of him on his own at this age terrifies me.  He has so much growing and maturing left to do. 

He is a beautiful boy.  With an open, alert and sensitive face, he is an appealing 13 year old boy. He performed tricks with the difficult Asian yo-yo in the talent show and came to talk to us with a small yo-yo in hand. With the goal of becoming a scientist, he plays soccer and basketball despite being born with bi lateral club feet. One foot was corrected in 2006; the other foot has not been corrected. With his shoe on, it’s not evident that he has a medical need. He recalls that the surgery “hurt a lot.” He is a non confrontational child, saying that he copes with being upset by “staying in my room” but also shares that he has lots of friends. This boy would be a lovely son for any family.


Did I mention his adoption would be FREE except for travel expenses.


There has to be someone out there already Dossier ready in China waiting for a child.  This is your son.  This is the one God has been waiting to give you.  I implore you to think about what it will mean if he doesn't find a family.


Now you may be thinking "put your money where your mouth is."  My husband Stephen and I would adopt this child in a second if China would allow us too.  Chinese law states that we both must be 30 years old to adopt.  I won't be 30 until April 2012 and this boy will age out before that happens.  So there is NOTHING I can do.  But I believe you can.  


If you would like more information on this boy and are Dossier ready for the China program, please contact me and I will put you in touch with the people who can get the ball rolling immediately for you.